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#Lovebombing boosted with #texting is the equivalent of a #dopamine relationship speedball (cocaine and heroin). Separately, both love bombing and text messaging can create potent dopamine brain baths. Together, they’re a powerfully destructive combination.

Dopamine creates intense wanting that leads to seeking behavior. Seeking eventually leads to a reward – the release of endorphins and other feel good neurochemicals. Reward reinforces the wanting and seeking behavior that, in turn, leads to more reward. This is called a dopamine loop and it can be incredibly addictive.

Whether it’s wanting and seeking more validation of ever increasing love bombing in person or via text or on social media – you need more and more of it to get the same intense rush. Especially when everything is shiny and new, or rather, shiny and new narcissistic supply.

Therefore, when dating, resist the urge to text excessively. First, if you’ve met someone who’s not a personality disordered abuser, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. For example, you find each other on one of those god awful apps. And then you text each other like teenagers for two weeks before the first coffee date.

Dopamine! Dopamine!! DOPAMINE!!!

No normal human being of reasonable attractiveness can live up to a 2 week long dopamine binge. Regardless of how kind, intelligent and interesting they actually are. She or he will likely disappoint due to the unrealistic anticipation of the texting dopamine high.

Second, let’s say Dopamine Damsel or Dopamine Dude, does meet your wild expectations. She or he could very well be your next #narcissist, #borderline or #histrionic nutter. In order to keep the dopamine loop looping, the reward needs to be obtained and then increased. And who can top the intensity of the pre-meet text-fest in person?

A person who can be intensely charming, intensely engaging and intensely provocative, flirtatious and seductive. Someone who’ll contort and shape shift themselves (i.e., #mirroring) into being anything and everything they think you want them to be to get you to fall in love with them. Again, it’s likely to be another #NPD, #BPD or #HPD nightmare.

Third, a person who’s willing and/or able to begin texting a stranger excessively from morning to night, well, I have questions. Like do they have a job? Friends, family or pets? Anything in their life that requires attention and responsibility? Do they have impulse control and self-restraint? The ability for delayed gratification? Hobbies and interests that don’t involve their phones, social media and dating apps?

Best case scenario, it’s another #codependent looking for their next intense dopamine relationship disaster. Worst case scenario, it’s the next disaster.