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#NarcissistDictionary” “Why do you hate me?!?!”

Translation: “Why are you holding me #accountable?! Why aren’t you #enabling me!? Why aren’t you letting me weasel out of #consequences for my shitty behavior?! Why aren’t you accepting my usual meaningless non-apologies and platitudes and hitting the reset button on the #AbuseCycle?!?!”i

Frequently, this manipulation tactic is punctuated with a “You’re just so mean!!!” or “I wish I were dead!! I should just kill myself!!!” Followed by the #narcissist, #histrionic or #borderline running from the room, the slamming of doors and loud theatrical sobbing.

AND SCENE.

What’s the objective of this particular melodrama?

To yet again evade personal responsibility, and to manipulate you into apologizing to and comfort your abuser. It’s pretty perverse. It also hits your #FOG buttons – fear, obligation and guilt.

Fear that she or he might actually harm themselves. Fear that they’ll wake the kids or that a concerned neighbor will call the police. Guilt if they actually were to hurt themselves (they likely won’t). Obligation to take care of someone who APPEARS to be hurting. They’re not. They’re angry and frustrated that they’re losing control and that their usual manipulation tactics are no longer working.

Have you ever experienced a version of this?